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Our Broken Chain

I am heading back to family this weekend for the funeral of my Aunt who passed away in a car accident almost a week ago. Although I am looking forward to spending time with everyone, the reason is just too sad.

I wanted to put something on here as a type of memorial to my beautiful Aunt, but the words are just not coming right now. How can  you describe in just a few short paragraphs the entirety of a person's life? My Aunt was only 12 years older than me...more the age of an older sister. She used to babysit me and truly enjoyed telling the stories of how I used to scare the socks off her when I was little. Of how she got in trouble all the time because she was supposed to be watching me and just when she turned around I would do something like fall down the stairs in my walker. And of how according to my Grandmother my name was Shay-Kaila because she just couldn't separate our names. We would laugh and laugh and laugh.

My Aunt was just one of those people you could never forget, even if you only met her once. I had a friend call me this weekend to ask about what had happened and offer her condolences. She acknowledged that even though she didn't know my Aunt well, that she felt like she just KNEW her because you only had to meet her once to make a memorable impression. You couldn't help but laugh whenever she was in the room.

My Aunt Shay left behind 4 beautiful children when she passed whom I know she loved with all her heart. And my heart aches for them. I cannot imagine losing a parent at the age of 25, much less at 19 and younger. I know they will always treasure their memories with her, but there will always be a part of them that feels missing.

I know grief...boy oh boy do I know it. And when it has you in its throes you think it will never ever end. And the truth is you don't want it to. Because you don't want your loved one to be forgotten. And if people stop grieving, that somehow means that they've forgotten.

But it doesn't. You can't take away the 37 years my Aunt spent on this earth. I know that there is a plan and that this family tragedy falls into this plan. I have had people message me on a regular basis telling me just how much my son meant to them and the changes they made in their lives because of our story. And Sam was only here for 50 minutes. You just can't take away those memories once they've been made. They will always be here, and we will be here to remember them.

I have a small decoration hanging up in my living room that I bought shortly after Sam died, and on it is this:
The Broken Chain

We knew little that 
morning that God was 
going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose
you, you did not go alone;
for part of us went with 
you, the day God called
you home. You left us
peaceful memories, your
love is still our guide;
and though we cannot see 
you, you are always at
our side. Our family 
chain is broken, and nothing
seems the same; but as 
God calls us one by one, 
the chain will link again.
-Ron Tranmer

Aunt Shay, you will always be missed. May you be at peace now that you are with the Ultimate Healer. I pray that you have found my Sam and are rocking him until I get there. And don't teach him to be too ornery ;-) 

Until we are all reunited in heaven. <3

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