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Showing posts from July, 2018

Meeting Heaven

"Think about it. If you know just one person in Mexico or the Philippines or Bolivia or Lichtenstein and something happens in one of those countries, don't you feel a kinship with everyone there? It feels like we've met everybody in those countries even though, obviously, we haven't yet. I bet this is what Jesus meant when He told His friends that people would understand who He was by watching how we treated each other. Early on I thought big acts of generosity or great sermons or arenas full of people singing songs would help us understand God's love for us. He said it was none of these. Jesus told His friends that letting people see the way we love each other would be the best way to let people know about Him.  It wouldn't be because we'd given them a lot of directions or instructions or because they memorized or studied all the right things. It would be because someone met you or me and felt as if they'd just met Jesus. I think what He meant was He

Permanent

For links to the previous posts, click  here . We are back in room 75. My Dad and sister are sitting on the couch...it seems almost like they're afraid to get up and come see, but I know they're giving me some space. There's a lot of shuffling and adjusting wires. I just sit and stare in awe of this tiny boy in my arms. I keep asking to have his heart checked. He's still here, honey. Each time. I am joyful that he is here with us still, but I bring him close to me, cheek to cheek, and I whisper to him: It's okay to go sweet baby. I love you. My heart aches for more time with him. But it aches more that he's alive and not breathing. At one point, I ask if anyone would like to hold him, and he goes around the room, being loved on by everyone there. I remember taking a photo of Jamey kissing him. I'm only able to capture a shot of the top of his head, but the photographer has a better angle. He is placed back in my arms within min

DECEASED

I am not okay today. I opened up my blog to start a new post. Was my 'joy.' post really just one week ago? Today's the opposite. If you're looking for some encouragement or something light-hearted today...I would suggest not reading any further. Today I am set off. I just...cannot. Nothing is safe for me right now. Not my mailbox. Not my bank account. Not my phone. Last night, I checked my account and I saw a check that had been debited. I clicked on the image. "Pay to the order of: Illinois Dept. of Public Health". YES!! I was so excited last night. Jamey, his birth certificate is coming. You know, the one I put in a special request for? I was having an emotionally rough evening but checking that brought some joy. It should be in the mail any day now. Let me back up a minute. Two days after we were released from the hospital, we went to the Department of Public records to request a copy of Gabriel's birth certificate. When your bab