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Showing posts from May, 2013

2 Days!

I can't believe we have just 2 more days until our lives are changed forever..again. I really can't. Today was my last o.b. appointment before we go in to meet our daughter, and when we were leaving, I saw a woman being wheeled out with a tiny baby in her lap. The last time I was wheeled out of that hospital I was completely empty. My body...my arms...everything. I just looked at her and smiled. Because that will be me this weekend. THIS WEEKEND! Honestly I can't tell you what's going on in my head right now, because it's not much (and everything). I just wanted to say I'm still here, baby is still not here, but that's all about to end soon. Our house is ready for my parents to stay with us for the first bit of time home, I have food in the fridge...we just need to get to the hospital and come home :) Baby is still breech, and the docs are still planning on trying to turn her. If successful, we'll be induced on Friday. If not, we'll have a

One Week Left

How Far Along: 38 weeks Size of baby: 7-8lbs Sleep: Not getting much. Since I started leave the beginning of this week, I've stayed up too late and not been able to sleep in. I'm getting excited! Total Weight Gain: 28lbs Symptoms: Heartburn seems to be not as bad now since she dropped, so other than it being difficult to walk and sleep, I'm doing okay :) Movement: Almost completely stopped. I've barely felt her move for about a week now, and it has scared me. Thank goodness a friend lent us a Doppler so we can hear her heart! Maternity Clothes: Getting a little big even for some of my maternity shirts. Go-to eats: Fruit and cereal mmm mmmm! Best moment of the week: Being off work and having time to myself before baby arrives! Gender: We're having a little girl! What I wish people knew: I worry about what kind of parent I'll be. I feel like we've been preparing forever, and at the same time I feel like we could never be prepared enou

Deliverance

I've been contemplating a post like this for awhile. Because it's not about me, it's about someone I can't imagine life without. And it's because I can't imagine life without him, that I feel the need to write this. My Dad is my hero. He really is. He has literally saved our family from the eternity we were headed towards...and shifted us to the one we were meant for. He is the head of our household, a true leader. I don't say this lightly, or mean it to be as cliche as it sounds. I did not always feel this way about him. Our family has had some intense struggles...of which I thought I would see the end of both my parents' lives before anything might change for all of us. We almost lost my Dad three times in three years. One such time the doctors told us they were surprised he survived the car ride to the hospital, and each time he went, they gave him a warning that if he continued his habits...he was signing his own death certificate. It was n

Throwback :)

I can't wait to see Jamey hold his daughter...I may be even more excited for that than for me to hold her myself. Just kidding. ;-) But really, Dads and their daughters are just too adorable. Take this good-looking pair for instance: Just in case you were wondering, this is MY Dad and I. I'm his first (*cough* and most favorite) daughter. Flipping through my baby book has actually helped to alleviate some of my worries for the months and years to come. I know parenthood is not going to be an easy road by any means, but my goodness... My parents bringing me home...yes there's a baby in that blanket. The original baby bathtub :) My Mom really liked adding speech bubbles! it sure looks like it's going to be fun. I just can't wait.  :)

Waiting for my Christmas

Today was my last day of work for the next 12 weeks. I have been so excited about this day, about finally being able to put my feet up and wait for baby girl to get here. And instead of the elation I expected, I have this sinking feeling. This holy moly this is really happening what the heck am I going to do I don't know what I'm doing feeling. Maybe I'm just really tired right now. Either way, my heart is fluttering, and I wish it would stop. I keep having this feeling of inadequacy, that says, "You really should have just kept working right up until you had the baby. You could have kept going, and if you don't go into labor before the 31st, you'll have missed out on 2 weeks with your baby." Okay, 2 weeks. Big deal. But Sam had 50minutes. 2 weeks is an eternity to me with my baby. And what about when I go back? Who will I leave my baby with? How could I possibly ever leave her? I'm so excited to be home and to finally meet our daughter. B

Full Term. Finally :)

How Far Along: 37 weeks--FULL TERM! Size of baby: 7lbs maybe? Sleep: Near impossible to get comfortable, but I'm trying to get as much rest as possible right now. Total Weight Gain: 28lbs Symptoms: I have a lot of pain when I walk and I'm pretty much tired all the time. Almost done though! Movement: This girl has been getting the hiccups more and more, and that's what I feel most often. But every so often she has a spurt of energy where she pushes out in the most uncomfortable spots and it's all I can do to keep from pushing back on her ;-) Maternity Clothes: Getting a little big even for some of my maternity shirts. Go-to eats: Fruit and cereal mmm mmmm! Best moment of the week: Baby girl dropped last night! I woke up this morning and my tummy was super low! Hopefully she's making preparations to meet us! Gender: We're having a little girl! What I wish people knew: I still think a lot about what could or might go wrong. I told a friend

Insecurity

I'm really insecure. And I wish more people knew that about me...maybe it's already obvious? I really don't know. As we've been reading Rick Warren's What on Earth Am I Here For? The Purpose Driven Life , I have had so many revelations about myself. It's meant to be read in 40 days, but I think this is a book that needs to be read more than once. I've been working on myself a lot in the last couple of weeks, and have been making a sincere effort to change my attitude to be a happier person for myself and my family. But what makes me unhappy in life? I can't just put a big smile on my face and fake it. I need to know what's at the root of this negativity I hold onto so tightly...and I'm pretty sure it's insecurity. I have this need to be liked. I want everyone to enjoy my company, think I'm funny, want to spend more time with me, think I'm smart, talented, and kind-hearted. And wouldn't ya know...not everyone thinks that abo

36 weeks...almost there!

How Far Along: 36 weeks 1 day Size of baby: 7lbs maybe? Sleep: Not happening really. But then again I've been told I'll beg for the kind of sleep I get now here in a few weeks...so I'll just keep my mouth shut ;-) Total Weight Gain: 28lbs Symptoms: I think I have all of them. But between the 225mg of Zantac, trying to keep my feet up, and the use of a belly belt, I think I'll survive! Movement: I feel a lot of squirming now, and every so often I get the feeling that I can feel her "practice breathing" just by the way my belly moves up and down rhythmically. Maternity Clothes: All the time! Go-to eats: Fruit and cereal mmm mmmm! Best moment of the week: Going to the doctor and picking a birth date for our girl! Unless she arrives earlier :) Also, we finished up our major shopping for the nursery! Gender: We're having a little girl! What I wish people knew: I think people pretty much know most of what I'm feeling right now. I

Growing Happiness

I've had a lot to think about in the last week. After a conversation with a very good friend (and therapist), I learned a lot about myself. Okay...I didn't truly learn anything I didn't already know (I just don't like admitting it). But what I DID learn, is that many of the behaviors I have found acceptable in the past really just aren't working for me as an adult. And really the only thing I can do to change things in my life is changing my attitude. By changing my perspective. By taking the darn log out of my eye instead of pointing out the speck in my neighbor's (which I'm just too good at). I am easily irritated. No surprise to those who know me. I tend not to post FB status updates about all the things that bother me because honestly I don't like bringing others down...but I am guilty of letting something annoy me to the point where I can't stop thinking about it and am then grouchy for the entire day. And the only person I'm really hurt

May Baby!

I can't contain my excitement...we finally have a countdown for when we'll meet our daughter! !!!!!!! We had a doctor's appointment today, and I was hoping to just talk to her about when my last day of work will be, but she had so much more for me than that. Unfortunately, baby girl is STILL breech. I guess she decided the comfiest spot and settled in. Of course, it is possible that she might flip before she's born, but doc is not optimistic about it. Especially since she's what they call 'frank breech,' totally butt down. I don't know where she got this kind of coordination, maybe I'll enroll her in gymnastics as soon as she's old enough ;-) At the appointment, my doctor told us we had some options. I said, "I do not want you to turn the baby." I've heard that's incredibly painful. Having an elbow or foot stuck in my belly button hurts...I honestly cannot imagine someone grabbing this girl's entire body and fli

Breaking my pregnancy promise

Stick a fork in me, I'm done ;-) Before we go pregnant with this girl, I told God and everyone that if He ever blessed us with another baby, I would not take it for granted. I would not complain about pregnancy, and I would be the happiest mother ever. Be careful what you promise. Of course, I do NOT by any means take this pregnancy for granted. But I do complain, and I know for a fact that I have not been the happiest pregnant woman ever. Being pregnant with Sam was emotionally the hardest thing I've ever done. Walking around with a giant belly while strangers congratulate you, feeling him kick knowing that's the only place he ever will....that's incredibly hard. BUT. Physical pain? An entirely different ballgame. I am so happy this girl is healthy, and would gladly carry her again to meet her, but I'm about ready to tap out. Physically, Sam was the easiest pregnancy. I had absolutely no nausea, I wasn't running to the bathroom every 5 minutes, I ha

Counting down the weeks on one hand!

How Far Along: 35 weeks Size of baby: I'm guessing just over 6lbs Sleep: I'm up every 2 hours to pee...everyone says I'm just practicing for baby. I'd rather just be good at it without having to practice haha! Total Weight Gain: 28lbs. Oy. Symptoms: I have the whole gamut of normal pregnancy symptoms, but the worst two are: round ligament pain and numbness in my hands from the swelling. It hurts really bad to get up and down, and I am constantly having to flex my fingers to regain feeling. This can make things really difficult at work. Movement: She moves a lot, and I love it :) Maternity Clothes: Got a few new pieces today even though I'm almost at the end...tried to get stuff that I can still wear after baby and before I'm back into my old clothes (if I can ever get back into them!) Go-to eats: I eat an entire watermelon by myself every week. And I eat pretty much everything else too. Best moment of the week: Celebrating Sam's birthday