"I wish I had your energy." "How do you do it?" There's a weird sense of pride taken when I wear myself too thin. I'd blame it on culture, on the go-go-go mentality of everyone around me. I get swept away in things. Good things. Things that take time and energy. My schedule is mine to make and mine to keep. No one says yes to things *for me*. How do I do it? How do I have the energy? The thing is I don't. I don't have it. I force it. Age is on my side right now I'd say in that my body can take a lot more than I should be forcing on it. It will catch up with me one day if I don't change something. The late nights. The early mornings. The social calendar. The planning. The doing. The yeses that should have been nos. I'm a broken record to those closest to me. I talk about the need to cry fairly often. I need to...but I don't. I hold it in because I don't have the energy to cry. I don't have the time to feel my feelings. I