25 Weeks Pregnant

How Far Along: 25 weeks!

Size of baby: Cauliflower...cute huh?

Sleep: Much better this week! Been having some interesting dreams but we are getting back to "normal" now. We already kind of look like up-all-night parents with bags under our eyes, so be ready for the zombies that come out of our house here in a few months ;-)

Total Weight Gain: I think about 12 pounds. Baby weighs 2 pounds for sure now.

Symptoms: Incredible pain in my lower abdomen, like a stabbing pain when I walk. I got off the couch tonight and couldn't even stand up straight it was so bad. Where's my wheelchair? Haha! Oh and I really can't eat anything without having heartburn....especially not my beloved Mickey Ds!

Movement: She's pretty quiet during the day. In fact, a couple days ago she was so still I got worried and drank some juice, which she then kicked me a couple times and went back to sleep. Mom! I was sleeping didn't ya know! But I'm pretty sure she's up all night (thankfully I'm sleeping through it.)

Maternity Clothes: Everything maternity. I try to look cute still and sometimes I succeed but other days I just look in the mirror and go "well, this is it for the day." I would love to go on maternity clothes shopping spree and look super cute....who wants to take me? Anyone?....Anyone?

Go-to eats: Everything. Just not really sweets at all, this baby doesn't like them.

Best moment of the week: We got a 3D ultrasound and can see all the details of this girl's face! I am totally objective...and I say she's super cute ;-)

Gender: We're having a little girl!

What I wish people knew: I've mentioned this before but I just go go go til I drop. I chased after Duke tonight when he got off his leash and went after an itty bitty chihuahua to chomp her up. It almost killed me but I caught him. But I am so incredibly thankful for the people who understand my limitations right now and take it easy on me!

What I’m looking forward to: Holding our baby...only 15 more weeks! (Maybe less because she measures more like 27 weeks along instead of 25)

Comments

The Hardest Part

One year ago today I had my very last prenatal checkup. I saw both my maternal-fetal medicine specialist and my ob/gyn. My blood pressure was great. Gabriel was still there and moving. There was no indication that within 24 hours my liver would start to fail. I didn't know that April 13th, 2018 would be the last time I ever saw my baby on an ultrasound. It would be the last time I heard his heartbeat. I didn't know that the next morning a pain would begin. The next day I would meet my sweet little 2-month-old nephew. I wouldn't be able to eat because I just wasn't feeling well. I would stay up late with the pain, sipping water and waiting for it to pass. The next night would be spent in the ER, not knowing we would be meeting Gabriel face to face just 10 hours later. One year ago was the beginning of goodbye to this teeny boy. And I had no idea. Wednesday morning. It's time to get ready to leave. Except it's 3:00am. I keep waking up, worried tha...

A New Way to Celebrate

"But He could have saved my boys. He could have . I'm so angry He didn't. I'm going to have to work through that with God, and I'm going to need time to do it. This isn't a quick fix, and there is no band-aid big enough to patch this damage. This cut is so deep it's going to take some major reconstructive surgery." I wrote that nearly two years ago. Two years. I wasn't wrong. There has been no quick fix. There was no band-aid. I'm still working through this with God. I still need time. I'll likely be working on this grief until it's my turn to leave this world. What I can say is the waves have settled a bit; the intensity of the grief not quite so severe. I don't talk about them as much anymore. I no longer desire to go back to the hospital and cradle their cold bodies. We're done having children....even that thought isn't as painful as it was just a year ago. Sam's birthday is April 30th. Gabriel...

On Not Writing.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash Kaila...why don't you write? I stopped writing, really writing , almost 3 years ago. Sometimes I share my old posts. Sometimes I just read them on my own, so glad I put words to my feelings at the time. Sometimes they remind me that the feelings haven't gone away. Last night as I put the kids to bed, Edward said, Mom, I know what I want for Christmas. What's that, buddy? He paused for a moment. I want a wittle brudder. This isn't the first time he's asked. It likely won't be the last. We're honest with Mira and Edward that we can't have any more kids; and to try would risk my life. There's a bit of confusion just because of their ages, but they're getting to the point where it's really starting to settle in. Mom, can we go get a baby? Like, adopt? We've walked this thought-road as well, weighing our options. We've weighed every. single. option. We've considered trying again, rolling the dice...

Kaila Mugford

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