Kaila Mugford

I have videos of the entirety of Sam's life...so even if I forget them, I'll be able to see everything from those moments. The moments after he was born, however, are only images in my head. After Sam died and everyone had the chance to hold him, it was time to get some rest. Jamey's family went home, my sisters slept on the chair and couch in my room, and my parents went out to the car to sleep. The hotel attached to the hospital told my family they'd be charged full price for a room if they checked in at 5am but would need to check out at noon, so they opted not to get one. Jamey crawled into bed with me, Sam snuggled between us. He had been in heaven for over an hour, but to us it just seemed natural. We wanted to share one nap with our boy, before he was physically taken from us. It wasn't a peaceful sleep, of course. Hospital beds aren't made for 2 grown people. But we made it work. Phone calls were made, and we were told that the director of the Cr

I can't believe nearly 2 years have passed since I've seen this beautiful face. Since I've touched him, kissed him, smelled his sweet baby smell. My personal memories are fading, as memories do. Our pictures and videos are all we have to remind us of the details that are no longer clear. I have literally THOUSANDS of pictures of Mira. And there will be thousands more to come. People make comments about all of the pictures I have an post of her. I have less than 200 pictures of Sam. All taken within 4 days of his birth. Most taken after he died. Let's just say, I might value photographs just a tad bit more than your average person. My heart hurts more this year than last. I knew we were missing out on a lifetime of memories with Sam when he died, but I truly didn't know what those memories would be until we had Mira. 1 year ago, I missed him. Missed his hair. His fingers. His toes. His cry. Another year gone by, and I miss him rolling over. His giggle