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On my mind lately...

One of the things that has surprised me most in the last year or so is just how many people oppose sharing anything. And not just about their lives (because I completely understand that is a personal choice), but about mine.

I couldn't even begin to tell you how many times I've been asked the question, "Why do you share your life like that? I wouldn't if I were you, it makes you too vulnerable." I get those looks that say, "That is your private life, and you shouldn't share."

Now of course I'm not talking about seriously private matters of the home that should be kept between spouses or within family. The types of things I've been asked about are topics like my son, Sam, about my praises to God, and about my pregnancy now. That those things are "personal"...and should be kept to myself.

Why do I continue to share when it makes me "oh so vulnerable"?

For starters...it's because so few people are willing to. I have had many people come up to me and tell me just how much they appreciated hearing my story because they knew someone or experienced something similar to me. That they didn't know others went through things or had the same feelings I did, and that it gave them some validation. These people have hope because I share.

Another reason why I am so very open is because talking is incredibly healing for me. I can't imagine having been a mother losing a baby just a few decades ago. What it must have felt like for those women to never have held their babies, kissed their cheeks, known if it was a boy or a girl. To be told "just try again" and to not have feelings about it. I have read countless stories of those types of mothers and have ached for memories they never got to make with their babies. Because the world told them it was best not to feel, not to get attached....not to talk about it. Sam will always be my firstborn baby, I will always talk about him, and he will always be included in our family in any way we can. It is healthy. It is healing. And I want to thank every single person who offered to just listen to me talk on and on about my baby and how much I've missed him...you will never know how very important that has been to me.

So for those who ask why I share (since it is apparently very dangerous); I do it for me. I do it for those who read and listen. I do it for those who have been told they shouldn't express their feelings. It's okay to share. And it's okay to listen. We were not meant to do life alone, that I am certain.

So thank you to those who are here with me, ready and willing to do life together. And if you ever need someone to listen, I would be more than happy to return the favor :)

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