Have you ever missed someone so much that you would do anything to see them just one more time? Have you ever missed someone that you only met for a short while?
I do, every day. It's strange though, missing someone you barely met, you never had a conversation with, you only saw his face for an hour.
We are told on a pretty regular basis how inspirational we are to have gone through what we have been. And I smile, and say thank you, and mean it :) However, I'm not really sure how else we should have handled it. I almost feel guilty sometimes saying thank you...because none of these people come home with me. Not that I'm hiding anything at all, but sometimes I handle things in the worst of ways. I don't even want to think about where things would have gone had we not given our lives to Christ just one year before Sam was born. This could have been so very ugly. But you know the poem, 'Footprints'? Oh yes, I have definitely been carried.
I kept a journal to Sam that I started shortly after we got his diagnosis, and kept it up until a few months after he was born. I finally wrote a goodbye note to him when I decided to start a journal for the baby girl we'll meet in a few months. It was hard, and I still talk to him, but I feel peace. It's amazing the peace I have, and I know exactly where it's coming from.
The time is coming for one year anniversaries. We were given the news about Sam on January 16th, 2012. It was MLK day and I was so happy that all I had to do that day was go see my baby and then had the rest of the day off work. I do not feel sorry for myself, but these types of days I think will always be hard. I am so thankful that we knew about Sam's condition before he was born. Otherwise I would have missed out on 4 months of bonding with him, when I may have taken it for granted.
Life is good. I am happy. I am tired but content. And this is only the beginning :)
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and
Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand;
One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before us,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
There was only one set of footprints.
I do, every day. It's strange though, missing someone you barely met, you never had a conversation with, you only saw his face for an hour.
We are told on a pretty regular basis how inspirational we are to have gone through what we have been. And I smile, and say thank you, and mean it :) However, I'm not really sure how else we should have handled it. I almost feel guilty sometimes saying thank you...because none of these people come home with me. Not that I'm hiding anything at all, but sometimes I handle things in the worst of ways. I don't even want to think about where things would have gone had we not given our lives to Christ just one year before Sam was born. This could have been so very ugly. But you know the poem, 'Footprints'? Oh yes, I have definitely been carried.
I kept a journal to Sam that I started shortly after we got his diagnosis, and kept it up until a few months after he was born. I finally wrote a goodbye note to him when I decided to start a journal for the baby girl we'll meet in a few months. It was hard, and I still talk to him, but I feel peace. It's amazing the peace I have, and I know exactly where it's coming from.
The time is coming for one year anniversaries. We were given the news about Sam on January 16th, 2012. It was MLK day and I was so happy that all I had to do that day was go see my baby and then had the rest of the day off work. I do not feel sorry for myself, but these types of days I think will always be hard. I am so thankful that we knew about Sam's condition before he was born. Otherwise I would have missed out on 4 months of bonding with him, when I may have taken it for granted.
Life is good. I am happy. I am tired but content. And this is only the beginning :)
Footprints
One night I had a dream...
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and
Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand;
One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before us,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
There was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life
This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
You would walk with me all the way;
But I have noticed that during the
most troublesome times in my life,
There is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why in times when I
needed you the most, you should leave me.
and saddest times in my life
This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
You would walk with me all the way;
But I have noticed that during the
most troublesome times in my life,
There is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why in times when I
needed you the most, you should leave me.
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious
child. I love you, and I would never,
never leave you during your times of
trial and suffering.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.
child. I love you, and I would never,
never leave you during your times of
trial and suffering.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.
Where is my kleenex again! :)
ReplyDeleteI remember that day. I just read tonight what you wrote. Tears down my face. I thank the Lord for his limitless love. Love you both, dad.
ReplyDelete