Skip to main content

Throwback Thursday

I just finished getting ready to go out to dinner. I know many people who don't like dressing up...but I love it. Working in a lab in jeans and a t-shirt every day can do that to you ;-)

Have you ever had a certain smell call up a powerful memory? I'm sure you have, it happens to most everyone. Right now, as I wear my mother's perfume, I can smell my childhood.

My parents would go out once every week or two when we were kids, and I loved it when they did (unless it was a not-so-friendly babysitter). The smell of my mother's perfume just takes me back. I can hear the hair dryer as she blow dries her bangs. I can hear her jewelry clink as she takes out the most gaudy pieces. I watch her as she meticulously applies her make up. And then she sprays her perfume. She always looked so put-together, so pretty. I thought my mom was the most beautiful woman I 'd ever seen.

My sisters and I would try and wait up for them to get home, because they would be in such a good mood. Three little girls would run into the living room in t shirts and underwear as they walked in the door. If we were all awake, my dad would turn up the stereo and we would ROCK.

It's so funny to think about our crazy bed heads and those dance parties. My dad taught us every song there was by Styx...and we would rock to Van Halen, Triumph, Rush, Journey, among many others. Eventually it would be my mom's turn and we'd listen to Patsy Cline. "Crazy" still takes me back to those nights when I hear it.

Amazing what one smell of perfume can do to one's memory. These are just a few that are locked in my head forever. And I can't wait for Mira to have memories like these thinking that her mommy is beautiful too. :-)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Hardest Part

One year ago today I had my very last prenatal checkup. I saw both my maternal-fetal medicine specialist and my ob/gyn. My blood pressure was great. Gabriel was still there and moving. There was no indication that within 24 hours my liver would start to fail. I didn't know that April 13th, 2018 would be the last time I ever saw my baby on an ultrasound. It would be the last time I heard his heartbeat. I didn't know that the next morning a pain would begin. The next day I would meet my sweet little 2-month-old nephew. I wouldn't be able to eat because I just wasn't feeling well. I would stay up late with the pain, sipping water and waiting for it to pass. The next night would be spent in the ER, not knowing we would be meeting Gabriel face to face just 10 hours later. One year ago was the beginning of goodbye to this teeny boy. And I had no idea. Wednesday morning. It's time to get ready to leave. Except it's 3:00am. I keep waking up, worried tha

We Look Like Four

6 years ago I celebrated Mother's Day with no baby in my arms. Sam had died 2 weeks before. The year after that, I was pregnant with Mira and still had no baby to hold. The year after, Mira gave me the gift of the stomach flu. ;) The last few years have been fairly "normal" with the exception that one of my children was not there. And this year, I will celebrate with half of my children. There is nothing easy about this. One thing I grieve is I will never have all of my children in one picture. I asked the photographer to take one with Mira and Edward when they came to visit us at the hospital. I'd said, I don't care if it's crazy or no one is looking. I just want one with us as a family of 5. That's what we have. One picture of the 5 of us. One. We're a family of six, but out and about we look like four. We don't look like our hands are full with just the two. We don't know what it's like to juggle a baby carrier while chasing do

A New Way to Celebrate

"But He could have saved my boys.  He could have . I'm so angry He didn't. I'm going to have to work through that with God, and I'm going to need time to do it. This isn't a quick fix, and there is no band-aid big enough to patch this damage. This cut is so deep it's going to take some major reconstructive surgery." I wrote that nearly two years ago. Two years. I wasn't wrong. There has been no quick fix. There was no band-aid. I'm still working through this with God. I still need time. I'll likely be working on this grief until it's my turn to leave this world. What I can  say is the waves have settled a bit; the intensity of the grief not quite so severe. I don't talk about them as much anymore. I no longer desire to go back to the hospital and cradle their cold bodies. We're done having children....even that  thought isn't as painful as it was just a year ago. Sam's birthday is April 30th. Gabriel