Mira already has us on our toes...and she's not even mobile yet!
We have had yet another hospital stay. I'd rather not continue this trend, and neither would the doctors.
Don't worry, it was nothing incredibly serious this time, just a panicky doctor in the ER who decided to admit us without knowing anything of our history.
Let's start from the beginning.
Mira has been extra fussy for the last week or so I would say. I was thinking she's just a fussy baby. She feeds all the time, has plenty of wet diapers, and she was sleeping soundly for several hours at a time during the night. However, several people mentioned that she was still looking really small and skinny. I bounced back and forth between thinking she was just fine and worrying if there was something I should be taking her in for. I DO NOT by any means want to be running this baby up to the pediatrician for every teeny tiny little thing. Just because we lost Sam does not mean I want to be a crazy helicopter parent.
So I took her to the pediatrician for her wellness check up 2 days early. I don't have baby scale at home (who does??) so I wanted to get her weighed just to see.
7lbs 12oz. Oy. She weighed 8lbs 3oz at birth, weighed 7lbs 6oz when we were discharged from the hospital, and a week later weighed 7lbs 11oz. ONE OUNCE. That's all she gained.
I was calm while speaking with the pediatrician, asking how this could be and asking about a plan to get her to gaining weight. She suggested putting Mira on a high calorie formula for the next day and a half and see if she was capable of gaining. She mentioned a few possibilities of what could be going on, including the idea that my breast milk may not be as caloric as it should be, and that she may be getting plenty of milk but just not the calories.
So we went home. And pretty much force fed her for the next few hours (going by the instructions of the doc). Mira threw up almost everything we put in her. By the way, formula smells terrible coming up...and when you have a baby that's never spit up at all, you're not prepared for the amount of spew that can come out of one tiny baby.
By evening, I was tired of seeing everything we fed her come back up (and it was starting to freak me out a bit), and I called the pediatrician again. This time, we were told, "Go to the ER. We are worried about her if she's not gaining and now she's not holding formula."
Okay, now the worry set in. We took her in, and were settled into a room in the pediatric part of the ER. An incredibly nice male nurse came in, made us feel a little more at ease with being there, and said, "Of course she's throwing up...I would too if I was eating that many calories and that much milk if I was her size."
After a resident came in to see us, she told us that throwing up was normal and even if just a little bit of formula got into her, it was better than nothing. To continue what we were doing, and that we'd be discharged soon. She left, and through the closed door I could hear her talking to the head pediatrician. All of a sudden I heard him say something like, "this baby needs to be admitted and blood drawn for metabolic diseases..." and then our door opened.
We were told in short, that Mira was failing to thrive. That he'd never seen a baby her age with continued signs of jaundice. That her liver might be failing. And we needed to figure out what was going on before she did fail to thrive.
PLEASE GOD DON'T TAKE THIS BABY TOO.
Complete panic set in. We told the doctor we didn't want to see her poked unnecessarily, and that we'd like to talk to our pediatrician before making a decision. The doctor quickly got impatient with us, but obliged...and after speaking to Mira's doctor, we decided to admit.
When we made it to our room, the pediatrician for that floor came to visit and asked us what was going on. Thank goodness for this doctor. After actually listening to what we had to say, she alleviated many of our concerns and it was just amazing how her calmness helped us to stay calm. She told us that it was normal for Mira to still have a little bit of jaundice (after our first hospital visit), that she probably was not handling the high calories and amount of milk that we were told to give her (because she went from strictly breast milk to strictly formula), and for goodness sakes to continue breastfeeding and supplement with some normal formula and we would reassess. No pokes, no feeding tube, no unnecessary tests. We would just see if she could gain.
So, after 24 hours of this plan, Mira was weighed. She gained 2oz, was filling diapers left and right, and was SO much more content. We were discharged 8hours after she was weighed (since it had been in the middle of the night), and were sent home with instructions to breastfeed and continue supplementing.
Apparently I don't make enough milk. After speaking with the lactation consultant, she mentioned ways that I might be able to increase my supply, but that there were several indications that I simply don't make enough for Mira. And it's OKAY. It's nothing I did, it's not my fault. And I don't care, as long as Mira's happy and healthy.
I post this, because maybe just maybe it might help a new momma down the road. It's amazing the differences in opinions you can get between several doctors...and you have to go with what's right for you. Mira's my baby, and I know her best. I was completely calm up until I ran into this ER doctor and then I lost it. Thankfully Jamey was super dad and made amazing decisions for us (along with having a few words with that doctor), and I am so blessed that he stood up for Mira when I was unable to. Our nurse even told us that Jamey deserved some serious ice cream for how wonderful he was in the ER.
So right now I'm still breastfeeding, but when Mira still shows signs of hunger after I'm empty, we give her formula. She takes both happily. No nipple confusion, no preference for formula over breast milk. It's really the best of both worlds. I got 7hours of sleep last night straight through because my mother kept Mira with her and just fed her formula until this morning. I feel like a new woman, and that this is what's right for us. I'm sure I could "try harder" to increase my milk supply. But having someone else be able to get up in the middle of the night if I'm just too tired is absolutely amazing. This is exactly what's right for our family, and I thank God for the reminder that He is in control, and no matter what I want to do, it may not happen in my 'ideal' world.
Thanks for reading such a long post, it's just so nice to be able to write this all out and get it off my chest. And if you skipped most of it...that's okay too ;-)
We have had yet another hospital stay. I'd rather not continue this trend, and neither would the doctors.
Don't worry, it was nothing incredibly serious this time, just a panicky doctor in the ER who decided to admit us without knowing anything of our history.
Let's start from the beginning.
Mira has been extra fussy for the last week or so I would say. I was thinking she's just a fussy baby. She feeds all the time, has plenty of wet diapers, and she was sleeping soundly for several hours at a time during the night. However, several people mentioned that she was still looking really small and skinny. I bounced back and forth between thinking she was just fine and worrying if there was something I should be taking her in for. I DO NOT by any means want to be running this baby up to the pediatrician for every teeny tiny little thing. Just because we lost Sam does not mean I want to be a crazy helicopter parent.
So I took her to the pediatrician for her wellness check up 2 days early. I don't have baby scale at home (who does??) so I wanted to get her weighed just to see.
7lbs 12oz. Oy. She weighed 8lbs 3oz at birth, weighed 7lbs 6oz when we were discharged from the hospital, and a week later weighed 7lbs 11oz. ONE OUNCE. That's all she gained.
I was calm while speaking with the pediatrician, asking how this could be and asking about a plan to get her to gaining weight. She suggested putting Mira on a high calorie formula for the next day and a half and see if she was capable of gaining. She mentioned a few possibilities of what could be going on, including the idea that my breast milk may not be as caloric as it should be, and that she may be getting plenty of milk but just not the calories.
So we went home. And pretty much force fed her for the next few hours (going by the instructions of the doc). Mira threw up almost everything we put in her. By the way, formula smells terrible coming up...and when you have a baby that's never spit up at all, you're not prepared for the amount of spew that can come out of one tiny baby.
By evening, I was tired of seeing everything we fed her come back up (and it was starting to freak me out a bit), and I called the pediatrician again. This time, we were told, "Go to the ER. We are worried about her if she's not gaining and now she's not holding formula."
Okay, now the worry set in. We took her in, and were settled into a room in the pediatric part of the ER. An incredibly nice male nurse came in, made us feel a little more at ease with being there, and said, "Of course she's throwing up...I would too if I was eating that many calories and that much milk if I was her size."
After a resident came in to see us, she told us that throwing up was normal and even if just a little bit of formula got into her, it was better than nothing. To continue what we were doing, and that we'd be discharged soon. She left, and through the closed door I could hear her talking to the head pediatrician. All of a sudden I heard him say something like, "this baby needs to be admitted and blood drawn for metabolic diseases..." and then our door opened.
We were told in short, that Mira was failing to thrive. That he'd never seen a baby her age with continued signs of jaundice. That her liver might be failing. And we needed to figure out what was going on before she did fail to thrive.
PLEASE GOD DON'T TAKE THIS BABY TOO.
Complete panic set in. We told the doctor we didn't want to see her poked unnecessarily, and that we'd like to talk to our pediatrician before making a decision. The doctor quickly got impatient with us, but obliged...and after speaking to Mira's doctor, we decided to admit.
When we made it to our room, the pediatrician for that floor came to visit and asked us what was going on. Thank goodness for this doctor. After actually listening to what we had to say, she alleviated many of our concerns and it was just amazing how her calmness helped us to stay calm. She told us that it was normal for Mira to still have a little bit of jaundice (after our first hospital visit), that she probably was not handling the high calories and amount of milk that we were told to give her (because she went from strictly breast milk to strictly formula), and for goodness sakes to continue breastfeeding and supplement with some normal formula and we would reassess. No pokes, no feeding tube, no unnecessary tests. We would just see if she could gain.
So, after 24 hours of this plan, Mira was weighed. She gained 2oz, was filling diapers left and right, and was SO much more content. We were discharged 8hours after she was weighed (since it had been in the middle of the night), and were sent home with instructions to breastfeed and continue supplementing.
Apparently I don't make enough milk. After speaking with the lactation consultant, she mentioned ways that I might be able to increase my supply, but that there were several indications that I simply don't make enough for Mira. And it's OKAY. It's nothing I did, it's not my fault. And I don't care, as long as Mira's happy and healthy.
I post this, because maybe just maybe it might help a new momma down the road. It's amazing the differences in opinions you can get between several doctors...and you have to go with what's right for you. Mira's my baby, and I know her best. I was completely calm up until I ran into this ER doctor and then I lost it. Thankfully Jamey was super dad and made amazing decisions for us (along with having a few words with that doctor), and I am so blessed that he stood up for Mira when I was unable to. Our nurse even told us that Jamey deserved some serious ice cream for how wonderful he was in the ER.
So right now I'm still breastfeeding, but when Mira still shows signs of hunger after I'm empty, we give her formula. She takes both happily. No nipple confusion, no preference for formula over breast milk. It's really the best of both worlds. I got 7hours of sleep last night straight through because my mother kept Mira with her and just fed her formula until this morning. I feel like a new woman, and that this is what's right for us. I'm sure I could "try harder" to increase my milk supply. But having someone else be able to get up in the middle of the night if I'm just too tired is absolutely amazing. This is exactly what's right for our family, and I thank God for the reminder that He is in control, and no matter what I want to do, it may not happen in my 'ideal' world.
Thanks for reading such a long post, it's just so nice to be able to write this all out and get it off my chest. And if you skipped most of it...that's okay too ;-)
LOVE my friend! You are so right in doing what's best for YOUR family! It's not always what we wish could work...i'm proud of you for sticking your ground and doing what your heart feels best! A huge MUAH to you and that sweet baby girl!!!:)
ReplyDeleteI HATED the pressure I felt as a new mom to nurse solely. It comes from all directions (doctors, peers,complete strangers, etc.) and it is NOT always the best thing for your child. My 2nd basically had failure to thrive at 6 months old - I had been nursing pretty exclusively (maybe 1-2 bottles of formula at most per week), and thought things were going fine until I took her for her 6-month well check. She had only gained ONE ounce in two whole months (she weighed 10 lbs, 1 oz at 6 months). I was told to stop nursing immediately and put her on a high calorie formula. She had fallen behind a little bit developmentally from being so malnourished, but there was immediate improvement with her weight and from that point on she thrived. With my 1st, I tried to nurse but only lasted about 6 weeks - we were both miserable with it. If I ever have another, I have a feeling I won't even try it again. I got so tired of hearing "breast is best" and although I wasn't happy that my baby had to "suffer" because my milk wasn't nourishing her as it should, I finally felt validated that it is not the best or only answer all the time. Each child's needs are different and good for you for doing what is best for your baby. Don't let anyone get you down with their opinions or agendas... you're the mom and you know best! :)
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