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Fear to Freedom

I try not to worry too much...I try.

I did everything "perfect" with Sam. When I found out I was pregnant I stopped drinking pop, I started eating better, I stayed away from medications and chemicals...and at 20 weeks pregnant, we found out that doing everything perfect did us no good. Sam was sick, and there was nothing we could have done or could do to help him.

So I try not to worry...because even if I do absolutely everything to the book, there are no guarantees.

But raising a baby has brought worry to a whole new level. She's here, alive and breathing, and yet I worry about every decision I make for her.

I feel like I'm a pong ball being volleyed back and forth between different schools of parenting. Being pushed between the shoulds and shouldn'ts of parenthood.

And so many parents feel like their way is the only way. If you don't do it their way, you've ruined your child forever.

I don't have this strong a feeling about my way of doing things...because I know it's not the only way. Heck, I don't even know if I have a "way" yet, I'm still learning! But it just doesn't seem right to be learning while you have the life of your baby in your hands...I wish these kids came with manuals.

Thankfully, a good friend recommended a book called Spirit-Led Parenting: From Fear to Freedom in Baby's First Year by Megan Tietz. I am only a few chapters in and I already love it, though it's going to take some time for me to train myself to actually believe in my parenting abilities as long as I'm following the lead that God has set for me. To listen to His direction for me, and not that of the world around me.

Not that there aren't those who know what they're talking about...I do know there are many highly trained experts in the field of child-rearing. But Mira doesn't fit into a perfect box where all the answers to her issues can be found by looking in the appendix of one of their books (oh how I wish it were so).

I hope one day she understands that the decisions we've made as her parents were all for what we thought was best for her. That we love her so much we'll do anything to make her feel safe and happy. But I also don't want our fears to overwhelm us to the point of indecision.

Would you pray for us please as we make parenting decisions for this little life we've been blessed with? We would very much appreciate them :-)

Comments

  1. AlisonJune 26, 2013 at 6:45 PM

    You're the only mama she knows and to her, all your decisions are perfect. :)

    Will keep you in prayer.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Monica MetcalfJune 26, 2013 at 6:48 PM

    You are doing just fine. Praying over every decision and doing your best by her....that's all that's needed. (and as a mom of 3, my oldest being 15....it doesn't get any easier!) xox

    ReplyDelete

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