"I feel that this is the best way, the only way to truly do things, and if people would only do their research, they would know the same. If staying uninformed makes them feel better though, then I guess that's what matters most to them." Person A
"Well...I have done my research too and from what I've found, what you're saying isn't true. I'm going to have to stick with what MY findings (and the majority of research) have resulted in." Person B
"Oh. Well, I wasn't talking about you, just everyone else who is uninformed about the FACTS." Person A
Ever have a conversation like this? I have. Multiple. And it just usually ends up where I left it. Everyone is wrong except the two people having the interaction who stand on totally opposite sides.
I've had a conversation with someone who is pro-choice, telling me that because a baby is not viable to live outside it's mothers womb that it is merely a cluster of cells without knowledge of self.
My response, "Well then, what you're saying is...that my son was one of these clusters. That I should have terminated him because he wasn't going to live anyway outside of me?"
"No. Not YOUR son. Sam was special. I'm just talking in general."
Oh really. People, you can't have it both ways. If you have an opinion, be prepared to hear from people who have lived the lives that you only live in the abstract. And if they disagree with how you feel, it is senseless to tell them that THEY are right, but anyone else who feels the same way is wrong.
If Sam was special, then all unborn babies are. If they're not, then he's included (in your opinion). And that's okay if that's how you feel, but you can't flip flop like that.
The same goes with opinions on child-rearing. I've read blog after blog after blog of so called mommy wars and how we should avoid them, when it seems to me that most of these writings only perpetuate them. I am a good mother. I shouldn't really be looking to the internet to get validation of that. I feed Mira a mixture of jarred baby food, food I've made at home, I've vaccinated her, given her tylenol, she was born via c-section, and she's had one round of antibiotics as prophylactic treatment for possible spinal meningitis. I let her chew on the dog, my shoes, have a taste of diet coke (gasp!), eat cake, watch tv, and play with my phone. I haven't taught her to sign, I didn't force her to do the expected amount of tummy time, and I have given her a couple pats on the butt already for getting into things she shouldn't.
Any ONE of those things are controversial, and speaking to anyone could cause an argument about why I shouldn't do it. But do you know why I do?
It worked for my mother. It worked for my grandmother. And it's working for me. I know I spend a lot of time online, but it's not to pull my hair out researching everything that I'm doing and a million different reasons about why it could be bad. That kind of stress is just something I don't need in my life, and Mira doesn't need a mommy who hoots and hollers every time she is not doing something on schedule with every other baby in the world. Of course, I'm not reckless. I love my daughter more than life itself, and would never do anything to put her in danger. However, the fact that I need to say that should really say more about where many people head in these "mommy wars."
Happy people live longer (or so research says) than those who spend every waking moment trying to control every detail of their lives. Mira has a happy mommy, and many comment on how she is the happiest baby they've ever seen. Now, I can't take full credit for that because her daddy is the happiest person I've ever known, but anyone who's been with a baby knows that they can sense emotion in their parents. I want Mira to live a life she loves, and not live in a near-constant state of paranoia. The death rate is 100%, it's just a matter of when.
I'm not knocking researching for answers to questions you may have by any means, the internet is a great tool. But that's what it is, a tool. It is not a parent. It does not love your baby, and it does not care what decision you make. That's why God gave you your children, so YOU could make the decisions. And I would suggest to always pray and ask Him what He wants you to do when you're faced with a tough decision. (I know, I just got all religious on you, yet another sticking point when it comes to parenting huh?)
Sometimes I just need to get stuff like this off my chest. And a public forum may or may not be the best choice, but I'm not saying anything here that I wouldn't tell you in person. I just get frustrated sometimes when I see parents dub themselves anything less than perfect because of the choices they've made to keep their children perfect too. I don't know about you, but I'm having a wonderful time raising a child full of imperfections. It makes life fun and unpredictable and yes, sometimes maddening. But what would life be like without that?
Note: If you think I think I'm the perfect parent (I'm not), you have missed my point. If you think I think you're not a perfect parent, you're right. You're not either. ;-)
"Well...I have done my research too and from what I've found, what you're saying isn't true. I'm going to have to stick with what MY findings (and the majority of research) have resulted in." Person B
"Oh. Well, I wasn't talking about you, just everyone else who is uninformed about the FACTS." Person A
Ever have a conversation like this? I have. Multiple. And it just usually ends up where I left it. Everyone is wrong except the two people having the interaction who stand on totally opposite sides.
I've had a conversation with someone who is pro-choice, telling me that because a baby is not viable to live outside it's mothers womb that it is merely a cluster of cells without knowledge of self.
My response, "Well then, what you're saying is...that my son was one of these clusters. That I should have terminated him because he wasn't going to live anyway outside of me?"
"No. Not YOUR son. Sam was special. I'm just talking in general."
Oh really. People, you can't have it both ways. If you have an opinion, be prepared to hear from people who have lived the lives that you only live in the abstract. And if they disagree with how you feel, it is senseless to tell them that THEY are right, but anyone else who feels the same way is wrong.
If Sam was special, then all unborn babies are. If they're not, then he's included (in your opinion). And that's okay if that's how you feel, but you can't flip flop like that.
The same goes with opinions on child-rearing. I've read blog after blog after blog of so called mommy wars and how we should avoid them, when it seems to me that most of these writings only perpetuate them. I am a good mother. I shouldn't really be looking to the internet to get validation of that. I feed Mira a mixture of jarred baby food, food I've made at home, I've vaccinated her, given her tylenol, she was born via c-section, and she's had one round of antibiotics as prophylactic treatment for possible spinal meningitis. I let her chew on the dog, my shoes, have a taste of diet coke (gasp!), eat cake, watch tv, and play with my phone. I haven't taught her to sign, I didn't force her to do the expected amount of tummy time, and I have given her a couple pats on the butt already for getting into things she shouldn't.
Any ONE of those things are controversial, and speaking to anyone could cause an argument about why I shouldn't do it. But do you know why I do?
It worked for my mother. It worked for my grandmother. And it's working for me. I know I spend a lot of time online, but it's not to pull my hair out researching everything that I'm doing and a million different reasons about why it could be bad. That kind of stress is just something I don't need in my life, and Mira doesn't need a mommy who hoots and hollers every time she is not doing something on schedule with every other baby in the world. Of course, I'm not reckless. I love my daughter more than life itself, and would never do anything to put her in danger. However, the fact that I need to say that should really say more about where many people head in these "mommy wars."
Happy people live longer (or so research says) than those who spend every waking moment trying to control every detail of their lives. Mira has a happy mommy, and many comment on how she is the happiest baby they've ever seen. Now, I can't take full credit for that because her daddy is the happiest person I've ever known, but anyone who's been with a baby knows that they can sense emotion in their parents. I want Mira to live a life she loves, and not live in a near-constant state of paranoia. The death rate is 100%, it's just a matter of when.
I'm not knocking researching for answers to questions you may have by any means, the internet is a great tool. But that's what it is, a tool. It is not a parent. It does not love your baby, and it does not care what decision you make. That's why God gave you your children, so YOU could make the decisions. And I would suggest to always pray and ask Him what He wants you to do when you're faced with a tough decision. (I know, I just got all religious on you, yet another sticking point when it comes to parenting huh?)
Sometimes I just need to get stuff like this off my chest. And a public forum may or may not be the best choice, but I'm not saying anything here that I wouldn't tell you in person. I just get frustrated sometimes when I see parents dub themselves anything less than perfect because of the choices they've made to keep their children perfect too. I don't know about you, but I'm having a wonderful time raising a child full of imperfections. It makes life fun and unpredictable and yes, sometimes maddening. But what would life be like without that?
Note: If you think I think I'm the perfect parent (I'm not), you have missed my point. If you think I think you're not a perfect parent, you're right. You're not either. ;-)
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