Kaila Mugford

Mira already has us on our toes...and she's not even mobile yet! We have had yet another hospital stay. I'd rather not continue this trend, and neither would the doctors. Don't worry, it was nothing incredibly serious this time, just a panicky doctor in the ER who decided to admit us without knowing anything of our history. Let's start from the beginning. Mira has been extra fussy for the last week or so I would say. I was thinking she's just a fussy baby. She feeds all the time, has plenty of wet diapers, and she was sleeping soundly for several hours at a time during the night. However, several people mentioned that she was still looking really small and skinny. I bounced back and forth between thinking she was just fine and worrying if there was something I should be taking her in for. I DO NOT by any means want to be running this baby up to the pediatrician for every teeny tiny little thing. Just because we lost Sam does not mean I want to be a crazy he...

I try not to worry too much...I try. I did everything "perfect" with Sam. When I found out I was pregnant I stopped drinking pop, I started eating better, I stayed away from medications and chemicals...and at 20 weeks pregnant, we found out that doing everything perfect did us no good. Sam was sick, and there was nothing we could have done or could do to help him. So I try not to worry...because even if I do absolutely everything to the book, there are no guarantees. But raising a baby has brought worry to a whole new level. She's here, alive and breathing, and yet I worry about every decision I make for her. I feel like I'm a pong ball being volleyed back and forth between different schools of parenting. Being pushed between the shoulds and shouldn'ts of parenthood. And so many parents feel like their way is the only way. If you don't do it their way, you've ruined your child forever. I don't have this strong a feeling about my way of d...

Mira will be 3 weeks old tomorrow. It's amazing how before she was born, I felt like 3 weeks would last forever, and now that she's here, I felt like I blinked and the weeks just ran by me. I've gotten a lot of questions about Mira and how it feels having her after having lost Sam. To be honest, at this point I feel like losing Sam was something that happened to someone else, not me. Not to say that I don't remember the pain of losing him, that I don't still cry when I think about the life we missed out on with him...but having Mira has changed something about the way I feel about his loss. I told a friend today who had lost her daughter over 30 years ago that I can't imagine having had a healthy baby and having THEN lost Sam. I guess I didn't know what I was really missing out on, I'd never seen a baby hit milestones. I loved and missed him like I never had anyone before, but I truly didn't know how my love could grow day by day for my baby. ...

I'm giddy. And tired. Happy. A little sad. Every emotion in the human spectrum has hit me in such a short period of time, it's unbelievable. Call it hormones. Sleep deprivation. Whatever it is, I hope these feelings don't ever go away. I loved and will always love Sam with all my heart. I still ache to hold the son who will forever be a baby to me, still miss his sweet smell, his hands and feet, his chubby cheeks. I honestly do not know or remember how we were able to walk out of that hospital empty handed just over a year ago. I'm positive God just lifted us up and carried us right out of there. Having Mira home is blissful. I've never been happier to be up in the middle of the night (several times). Talking to her, watching her watch me, listening to those sweet baby sounds of pure contentment coming from her after feeding...I love it. We are starting to get into a routine now, after all the time spent in the hospital. Mira and I sleep in the living room a...

SHE'S HERE!! Mira James Mugford was born on Friday, May 31st 2013 at 11:17am. Weight: 8lbs 3oz        Length: 20.5 inches I will have to post her birth story soon, but for now I hope you'll enjoy the pictures :) Mira has had a bit of a challenging first few days of life with high bilirubin levels and has been under the UV lights almost constantly. But she is such a good baby and we are in love! 39 weeks and 1 day--on our way to the hospital! Happy Birthday Mira! Just a few minutes out of surgery. Sleeping so peacefully Getting to know Daddy while we burp! All ready to be discharged from the hospital! And, back in the hospital just 24 hours after discharge with high bilirubin levels...working on our tan now! It has been a crazy 4 days with little sleep and lots of doc visits, but I can't wait to sit down and write everything out. Hope these hold you over until then :)