I noticed only recently something about myself. Something awful. Something hard. I take so many pictures and videos of my kids. What? That's not awful. Or hard. So let me add this: I take so many pictures and videos of my kids because I fear I won't have enough when the day comes we have to bury them. I hate that. Hate it. I look at their faces as we sing our Happy Birthdays and open presents. I make cute signs and dress them up for the beginning of the school year. And then I click click click all the while, wondering, how hard is this going to be when they're gone? The thought is never an if . It's a when . I hate that. Hate it. I'm not negative, pessimistic, or morbid. I'm typically a joyful optimist. A joyful optimist who has buried two children. A paradox. One that brings me such joy I can hardly contain the love I have for the people in my life. My love goes deeper than I could have ever thought possible... because my loss has g...