Has there ever been a time where you logged onto Facebook (or any other social media site for that matter), and immediately saw something that set you off?
I have. It just happened a few minutes ago, actually. An article popped into my newsfeed on how spanking delays cognitive development. The title was enough to irritate, and the comments...ugh why do I even care to read something people have to say about a subject I already have made my decision on? As if I didn't already have a hard time making parenting decisions, I now am looking at articles that might as well be titled, "Doomed to Screw up Your Child: Why Your Decisions are Always Wrong."
I HAVE to let go of my social media addiction. And yes, it's an addiction. It's something that hurts me more than it does anything else for me, and yet I keep going back to it. Does that mean I'm going to be done cold turkey? Never to have an internet presence again? Umm. No. I like sharing the pictures of my family and funny toddler videos. But does it mean I limit my time and energy on soaking up the perspectives of a billion other people?
Yes. Yes. Yes.
I spank and I do time out. I vaccinate and I go to a chiropractor. I eat nutritious foods, and I eat junk food. Nothing I EVER read on social media is going to change any of the choices I make. Because that's all it is, social. You can reference any number of articles (and usually they're blogs) about why you're right, tell me as many anecdotes as you can think of....and you're still not convincing me of anything.
I watched the movie Transcendence this week. About a dying man who has his brain uploaded into the internet so that after his death his presence is still there. He had access to the collective knowledge of the entire world, and was able to accomplish in a span of a few short years what mankind has been studying since the birth of the scientific method. According to one of the characters of the movie, he had pretty much made himself a god. He knew absolutely everything there was to know (according to man)....and he still failed. In his relationships, in his life, everything.
I don't know everything, and that's okay with me. I don't know if Mira is going to be a criminal because I watch primetime tv and because I spank her. I don't know if I will die younger than the average lifespan because of my food choices or if I'll live to be 100 and still have eaten bacon every day.
One thing I do know: anxiety over every decision I make WILL kill me sooner. Or at least make me miserable for the time I do have here on this earth. I'm not saying I don't think about or pray about the decisions I do have to make, I just am making every single attempt not to live in the "what if"s of life.
That's all social media is doing for me right now. "If you read the back of every food label you fed Mira and made sure there wasn't anything in there that *might* be harmful....would she be saying more words by now?" "If you invested more time in teaching her this or worrying about her that...would she be better behaved? Smarter? Happier?" "If you read this book or followed that fad...would YOU be better behaved? Smarter? Happier?" Maybe. But...is it possible that the answer to any (or all) of these questions would be "No"?
Perhaps instead of these questions, I should be asking myself, "Is your time on social media causing you distress? Making you question every step you take?" And the answer to that is a big fat YES. Some people can easily scroll through their newsfeed, rolling their eyes at one thing and moving on to the next. I'm not one of those people. I get so worked up that I have to blog about it, and then there's ONE more blog (yes I know the irony here), about the ill effects of social media. It's one giant Catch-22. And wouldn't you believe, I'm going to go post this on Facebook when I'm done writing. ;)
Last night, Jamey uninstalled Facebook from my phone. I've been on it a few times today. I'm not looking to break my habit, just lessen it a bit. I'm not looking to go all, "Hey, I'm unplugging, and this is why I'm a better person, and you will be too if you just follow what I did," because that isn't true. Social media doesn't make me a better or worse person. My decisions do. The way I let things affect my attitude does. My readiness or hesitance to let the world dictate my day to day life does.
With all the inputs surrounding the life of the individual today, we've forgotten how to send a strong output signal. One that says, "Hey, this is the decision I've made today. I may make a different one tomorrow, and that's okay. But it's still MY decision." Instead all of those inputs get jumbled into one big signal that says, "You're not good enough, and every decision you make for you and your family is wrong." I need an output that says, "Yes, some of the decisions I make are going to be wrong, and that's okay. But not all of them are, and as long as I make them all in love, everything is going to be okay."
Everything's going to be okay. Strange thought these days, isn't it? There is no room for hopelessness in my life. For me, that means unplugging for a little bit, and learning to let those social media articles roll off my shoulders. It means learning to take what someone says on social media (when they wouldn't say it in person) with a grain of salt. It means journaling, be it here or handwritten. It means taking some time to reconnect with God and rediscover what He wants for me.
It means finding happiness in the moment, because today is a gift, and tomorrow's no guarantee.
I have. It just happened a few minutes ago, actually. An article popped into my newsfeed on how spanking delays cognitive development. The title was enough to irritate, and the comments...ugh why do I even care to read something people have to say about a subject I already have made my decision on? As if I didn't already have a hard time making parenting decisions, I now am looking at articles that might as well be titled, "Doomed to Screw up Your Child: Why Your Decisions are Always Wrong."
I HAVE to let go of my social media addiction. And yes, it's an addiction. It's something that hurts me more than it does anything else for me, and yet I keep going back to it. Does that mean I'm going to be done cold turkey? Never to have an internet presence again? Umm. No. I like sharing the pictures of my family and funny toddler videos. But does it mean I limit my time and energy on soaking up the perspectives of a billion other people?
Yes. Yes. Yes.
I spank and I do time out. I vaccinate and I go to a chiropractor. I eat nutritious foods, and I eat junk food. Nothing I EVER read on social media is going to change any of the choices I make. Because that's all it is, social. You can reference any number of articles (and usually they're blogs) about why you're right, tell me as many anecdotes as you can think of....and you're still not convincing me of anything.
I watched the movie Transcendence this week. About a dying man who has his brain uploaded into the internet so that after his death his presence is still there. He had access to the collective knowledge of the entire world, and was able to accomplish in a span of a few short years what mankind has been studying since the birth of the scientific method. According to one of the characters of the movie, he had pretty much made himself a god. He knew absolutely everything there was to know (according to man)....and he still failed. In his relationships, in his life, everything.
I don't know everything, and that's okay with me. I don't know if Mira is going to be a criminal because I watch primetime tv and because I spank her. I don't know if I will die younger than the average lifespan because of my food choices or if I'll live to be 100 and still have eaten bacon every day.
One thing I do know: anxiety over every decision I make WILL kill me sooner. Or at least make me miserable for the time I do have here on this earth. I'm not saying I don't think about or pray about the decisions I do have to make, I just am making every single attempt not to live in the "what if"s of life.
That's all social media is doing for me right now. "If you read the back of every food label you fed Mira and made sure there wasn't anything in there that *might* be harmful....would she be saying more words by now?" "If you invested more time in teaching her this or worrying about her that...would she be better behaved? Smarter? Happier?" "If you read this book or followed that fad...would YOU be better behaved? Smarter? Happier?" Maybe. But...is it possible that the answer to any (or all) of these questions would be "No"?
Perhaps instead of these questions, I should be asking myself, "Is your time on social media causing you distress? Making you question every step you take?" And the answer to that is a big fat YES. Some people can easily scroll through their newsfeed, rolling their eyes at one thing and moving on to the next. I'm not one of those people. I get so worked up that I have to blog about it, and then there's ONE more blog (yes I know the irony here), about the ill effects of social media. It's one giant Catch-22. And wouldn't you believe, I'm going to go post this on Facebook when I'm done writing. ;)
Last night, Jamey uninstalled Facebook from my phone. I've been on it a few times today. I'm not looking to break my habit, just lessen it a bit. I'm not looking to go all, "Hey, I'm unplugging, and this is why I'm a better person, and you will be too if you just follow what I did," because that isn't true. Social media doesn't make me a better or worse person. My decisions do. The way I let things affect my attitude does. My readiness or hesitance to let the world dictate my day to day life does.
With all the inputs surrounding the life of the individual today, we've forgotten how to send a strong output signal. One that says, "Hey, this is the decision I've made today. I may make a different one tomorrow, and that's okay. But it's still MY decision." Instead all of those inputs get jumbled into one big signal that says, "You're not good enough, and every decision you make for you and your family is wrong." I need an output that says, "Yes, some of the decisions I make are going to be wrong, and that's okay. But not all of them are, and as long as I make them all in love, everything is going to be okay."
Everything's going to be okay. Strange thought these days, isn't it? There is no room for hopelessness in my life. For me, that means unplugging for a little bit, and learning to let those social media articles roll off my shoulders. It means learning to take what someone says on social media (when they wouldn't say it in person) with a grain of salt. It means journaling, be it here or handwritten. It means taking some time to reconnect with God and rediscover what He wants for me.
It means finding happiness in the moment, because today is a gift, and tomorrow's no guarantee.
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